The Things You Miss Aren't Actually Gone
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Last week, in honor of my 40th birthday, I asked people to share a little wisdom with me. I received so many incredible responses (representing over 4000 years of collective life experience!), and I noticed something interesting. When I asked “What's one thing you miss about being younger?”, people said they missed the sense of possibility they used to have. They missed how they used to feel like the world was their oyster, like anything was possible. They missed doing things just for the sake of doing them, without having to have a reason. But when I asked “What's something you're looking forward to about getting older?”, people said they were excited about becoming more authentically themselves, pursuing their passions, and spending their time the way they want. Do you see the connection? The people who miss the possibility that existed when they were younger are the same ones looking forward to a renewed sense of possibility when they’re older. But they think that for whatever reason, the place they’re in now can’t have that same feeling. Obligations, expectations, and responsibilities make it seem as though they can’t embrace the sense of wonder they used to have (and hope to one day have again). It doesn’t have to be that way, though. The advantages of your current age (more resources, better opportunities, and more career momentum) don’t have to come at the cost of the things you loved about your youth. Nobody said you have to lose your sense of possibility or play just because you hit a certain age (heaven knows I haven’t!). I’ve never liked the phrase “act your age”, because who gets to decide what each age is supposed to act like? Who said you can’t build a centaur bike or start a fake marathon or become an accidental TikTok influencer in your mid-30s? Well, actually, lots of people said those things. But when you ignore those people, some pretty incredible things can happen. Sure, you can put all your dreams off until you’re older, but there’s a very real danger in doing so. I hate to tell you this, but there’s no guarantee you’re gonna make it to the age where everything becomes easier again. As one person told me, “I wish I’d realized that some of your best friends won’t see old age. Life isn’t fair, and cancer and car wrecks happen.” We aren’t guaranteed tomorrow. So here’s my challenge to you this week: think back to the things you miss about being younger and ask yourself “Was losing those things inevitable, or could I choose to bring them back?” Sometimes it’s the former. You can rehab knees, shoulders, and lower backs, but they’re probably never gonna be the same as they were when you were 17. But oftentimes, the only thing keeping you from the things you loved are your beliefs about what other people will think. And beliefs can be changed. A sense of possibility isn’t something you inevitably lose. It’s something that gets left behind when life gets busy, schedules get chaotic, and real world responsibilities start stacking up. But you can pick it up again. And when you do, everything else you’re carrying gets lighter. Happy Friday, friends. Make it a good one. Kyle Scheele |
Kyle Scheele
One useful idea about creative leadership, once a week
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